Juggling all of your roles, how is your guilt barometer doing?

As every feeling, guilt has a function. It is a pro-social feeling that makes us act on what we promised or feel responsible for. In a way its function is to protect our relationships.

The problem is, a lot of us feel responsible for way too many things, situations or even other people.

So, unable to deliver on all of these responsibilities, more and more people get trapped in a nagging feeling of micro-guilt. It is like a snooze alarm in your head that won't shut off. You always feel there is the next thing you HAVE TO do, in order to alleviate your feeling of guilt.

Research on guilt concluded that on average, we spend at least 5 hours per week feeling guilty. 

As a single parent of 4, running a business, being a home owner and a dog mom, having a father with dementia and friends that don't live in the neighborhood, setting high standards for my life, health and relationships, guilt is no stranger to me.

A feeling of falling short in every area:

- when I work late, I feel guilty towards the children
- when I have time off, I crave for working on my business
- when I see my dad, I feel confronted of not visiting him enough
- when I meet up with my friends, the idea that I only see some of those precious humans once a year breaks my heart
- when I look around the house, I feel guilty for not fixing some issues or having my household in place
- when my dog misbehaves, I feel guilty for not spending enough time educating him better
- when I look at my business, I know how much more I could accomplish, if only I would not have all the other responsibilities.

Heck, I even feel guilty towards my plants for not giving them more attention! 

Sounds familiar?

That was definitely me a few years ago and I can't say that the feeling of guilt has disappeared out of my life.  

What I can say, is that I transformed it. It is no longer the snooze alarm that makes it hard to focus, to be creative or to think straight. It is no longer a stress accelerant. It is no longer a reason to self criticize or to self punish. It is no longer a heavy weight that is weighing on my shoulders or keeping me from enjoying life fully.

It is, as all the other feelings, an intelligent energy that informs me of what is important to me and it even helps me to break free of feeling responsible for every little thing that doesn't go as planned, that doesn't meet my or other's expectations.

Any challenging feeling can serve you for the better. Give it space, listen deeply and learn.

In the end, it is not about not having these feelings, it is using the energy of these feelings to create a life of value and meaning. 

Use the intelligence nature provides us with and become that version of yourself that is relaxed, enjoying and contributing to life!